OK - So I'm thinking more and more about my piece "Angel in the Fire" as of late. Below is an excerpt of one scene. Emily is the grandmother, Halle (short for Hallelujah) is the mother. Claire is the daughter. Three generations, two different stories. They are woven together as our memories of life, reactions to moments, and relationships with our mothers and grandmothers most always are. Do they work, evoke something when you read them...?
CLAIRE
The moon blocks out the sun today.
For a brief moment, night at noon.
I am eight.
The cement steps
on our stoop have
a hole beneath them.
Bees dip and fly
silently between my legs,
waiting for me to move.
HALLE
We steered clear of that field
mostly.
The bull hunched like a tank,
afternoons.
The sun was down before I knew it,
the rock getting cold
beneath me.
EMILY
When your sister came home
alone, I wanted time
to deal with her.
First, we got that bull
back in his pen,
then I turned to her,
a good switch from the elm
in my hand.
CLAIRE
You came and picked me up in the dark
And we watched the moon do-si-do with the sun.
HALLE and EMILY
And when I came and picked you up
HALLE
from the stoop,
visions of old apocalyptic stories
fresh on my mind,
ALL THREE TOGETHER
The sound of the bull
In the field across the way
Startled me
HALLE and EMILY//CLAIRE
And I took you inside. //And you took me inside.
3 comments:
It reads beautifully. I almost wonder if it is better as a written piece allowing images to be absorbed and savored. But that's just me.
On second thought, I love how you read in our intimate circles. There are a few moments in the scene that stimulate the scences.
Thanks, PMD! I think a well read poem is meant to be heard aloud. That's how they all began. A friend of mine often says "it's not important for the audience to get everything the first time through" - in fact, to him it's more desirable that they have to struggle for it, search, perhaps see the piece more then once, or go and read the text later. I struggle to make this piece accessible enough without having it be too 'easy.' Repetition of some of the poems during the performance helps with that.
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